$800 million in lottery prizes go unclaimed – Dec. 16, 2013

This story is all about me . . .

$800 million in lottery prizes go unclaimed – Dec. 16, 2013

The subject story tells us about folks that have winning lottery tickets but fail to claim their prize. It actually adds up to a pretty tidy sum that stays in the lottery system.

What I do not understand is, why does the prize amount have to be so high? Would it not be better to lower the prize and provide more to the schools? Or, break the prize amount up a little spreading the winnings around a little bit more?

Regardless, the subject story is all about me. It seems like I buy a lottery ticket, only not to be able to locate it to check for winnings. I have probably won repeatedly, all sorts of money. But, cannot find my damn ticket. Like tonight’s drawing . . . I won it, It’s mine, now where did I put that ticket . . .

Seriously folks, you have to check those tickets. See if you won. If you do not want the winnings just write my name on the back of the ticket and mail it to me, I’ll put the winnings to good use. Why let your winnings just go to waste by not claiming your winnings? Are you independently wealthy? Got a stash of cash under your mattress? As I have said before, collect your winnings, and let me be your favorite tax-free relative for a little while. I do not make that offer lightly and there are few people that I would extend such offer to. So maybe, you should feel privileged by my offer.

Oh who am I kidding. You are going to pick up your lottery winnings and forget I am alive. After all we have been through. After all we have meant to one-another. Yep, you will just go on with your wonderful life and act like we have never met. I am so hurt . . . 

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