When I look back into my past, I believe the most painful experience in my life has got to be divorce. Why? Because divorce is when two people that at one point truly loved each other forget that they did. Divorce is when even your best friends are actually your enemy because they offer suggestions not in reconciliation of your marital issue, but in furtherance of your divorce. Divorce is when your Attorney that is supposed to be working for you does all he can to make the problem continue knowing the longer you and your spouse fight, the more money he is likely to make. And, divorce is a full-Court Attorney’s wet dream. A skillful attorney can manipulate a year long battle out of a no-contest divorce, and convince you that he is doing it all for you.
I was still in love with my wife during our divorce. I took a job doing work I didn’t want to do so I could show my wife I was still able to provide for our family. I worked my ass off and was making good money from it. The first thing her attorney did was use this income against me. They further screwed me by attaching my child-support obligation to my retirement. And, ended the screw job by not allowing the child support obligation to end at the child’s age of 19 years old, but requiring a Court Order to stop the Child Support obligation. Thus, regardless whatever transpired at least one more attorney would be required to stop my child support obligation. And, my wife allowed it too happen.
Later on in life I found myself broke, no cash, no savings, and not a nickel to my name with financial obligations to meet. And, nowhere to turn for help. Never call your ex-wife asking for money. I do not care if there is absolutely no way that you will live without it, DO NOT ask your ex-wife to loan, give, donate, or otherwise part with one penny of her money. I DO NOT care if you see her rolling in a bed of brand new $100 dollar bills, DO NOT ask her for money,
“Hey You!, yeah you in the back talking. Hey, I’m talking and you need to pay attention, because I am talking to you specifically . . . DO NOT EVER ASK YOUR EX-WIFE FOR MONEY!”
Those of you that have made this mistake will likely support this recommendation, as there is nothing more entertaining than listening to her tell you how much of a F&*^-up you are, how you never could manage money, and how little you pay in child support for about the next half-hour if you last that long. In my case, I met my child support obligation and then some for my last child. I know I probably overpaid by about 50k. And, I had an absolute “WIN” case on getting the overpayment back. So, I offered a settlement of $5k, plus the most recent payment of $777.00 and we would call it resolved. It was a done deal today.
The only thing that really bugs me about this settlement, is she probably sees me as weak. First she screws me over at the child support hearing. Then I let her screw me over for the overpayment situation. I am disappointed that she did not offer a more fair settlement just because she shouldn’t of taken my money in the first place. But, my settlement with her was not a weak gesture. It was a case of simply not wanting to feed the beast ( The Courts ) and argue with her to do it. Face it, at my age there is little I could do with the money anyway. Years ago I would have been able to use it to build something that would make me money with it. Hell, I have enough people trying the hardest to liberate my money from me, let her keep it, maybe one day she will see the error of her ways, or not!
Anyway, I have spent the last few days feeling every emotion, all the pains, and all the guilt that came with my divorce. And, I will be damned if it didn’t hurt just like my divorce was yesterday. The only thing good that came out of my divorce was my ex and my daughter got to live the good life, some of it at my expense, but a good life just the same. I am happy for them. I guess I am even happy with me. I made it through another day of divorce bullshit and actually survived . . .