If She Is Mad, DO NOT LAUGH!

Nope, she was not mad at me. I was not even involved. And for that, I thank my lucky stars, my unlucky stars, the next door neighbor, the gal I passed on the freeway, the cop  on his motorcycle, the paperboy, the girl Scouts, and my cat. ( I am sure there is someone I missed in my thanks, so thank you also. )

Anyway . . . Have you ever known a woman that remembers everything, forever? And if you have done her dirty, she will eventually get even? I know such an animal. ( Please DO NOT tell her I referred to her as an animal. ) She is a BEAST when she is angered by almost anyone. I tend to stay on her good side, but only due to sexual gratification. ( Hers ) I stay on her good side primarily because she has a tendency to be quite devious and evil in her acts of getting even. One of her ex’s made the mistake of snooping where he should not have and she promptly tossed a screwdriver that impacted his forehead. Not severely. Okay, severely as it drew blood and a headache that followed, but the fella never snoops again.

Anyway ( Again ) . . . SO I stop by to visit for a minute and while I was there her phone rings. She picks it up, says hello, and then loads up a rant on the caller advising him that he has crossed her and at this stage she is quite angry so he better fix his mistake. ( Actually, the guy dropped a bunch of his belongings on the side of her house saying he would return promptly to retrieve his stuff, and didn’t. This may seem like a minor offense to you, but the volume of his belongings nearly took up half of the free space in her house. She did the nice thing and took all his stuff into her house as it was going to get destroyed in the rain, and you can barely get the refrigerator door open. When he called earlier, he responded with a laugh when she said she was upset. For two minutes after the phone call she detailed the evil she would bestow upon the gentleman and her calm demeanor, cocky smile, and eyes that sparkled . . . I learned the meaning of “funny as hell.”

No, I really do not believe that she would do any of the things threatened. But, if she can rattle off a score or so of absolute evil without skipping a beat, and say it in a manner similar to a soft spoken shy teenage girl, while saying the list of the aforementioned pleasantries has my testicles in her tightening grip . . . Dammit, I laughed!    

3 thoughts on “If She Is Mad, DO NOT LAUGH!

  1. Us girls are crazy sometimes. It’s when we are silent that you should be worried about. When we are silent for any length of time, we are strategizing our plan of attack of when all hell will break loose when he least expects it. It’s funny how women in general (not all, there are a few exceptions) that plot and no matter what the man is at fault. So, next time you see that Girl Scout, that gal you passed on the freeway, and yes your female cat, just be on high alert. 😛

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