Man, this sucks!
I do not know about the rest of you folks, but I am getting a bit on the elderly side. And, I would like to believe there is something after death. As I live with a dog that is without a doubt a reincarnated human, when I saw this “What Will You Be Reincarnated As?” test on the RantLifestyle web site, I just had to check it out. . .
Let me tell you, my hopes for a pleasurable future have been destroyed by my poor selections of answers to this test. I encourage all of you to use caution should you decide to take this test as the results may be true for most of you. As for me, I know I must have missed one of the questions because I find it hard to believe I should have such a poor reincarnation. Those of you that know me, know that these test results cannot be true. You know that there is no way I would be reincarnated as a “Used Condom.”
Mind you, not an unused condom with the possibility of a bright sexual future ahead of me, but as a used condom with no future at all. What kind of crap is this! I deserve better than this. Please, something better than a used condom . . .
But then I considered the possibility that reincarnation is a reality. And if reincarnation is in fact true, then my present life is the reincarnation of a previous life. Oh damn! In this life I was reincarnated as a ten inch penis affixed to a short white guy. The test results say next I will be a used condom. Boy, is that down the drain, or what? OMG! What if as a used condom I am flushed down the drain? Or worse yet, not flushed but left on the side of the hill up on lookout point, tossed out the window after being used on some skank to be forgotten as some small animal sniffing around in the darkness tears me to pieces as he thinks I may be something edible? At least if eaten by some animal I would have a chance at another reincarnation quickly. But, what if I am just left lying on the side of the hill? How long can a used condom live without being destroyed by some animal? I mean what is the life expectancy of the material used to make condoms? 20, 50, maybe 100 years before natures decomposition provides me another shot at reincarnation.
Hey, this sucks! I want to live! I want to live!!!