Your Sex Position Playbook | Men’s Health

Boy, talk about your New Years Resolutions. Honey, can we do this for ours?   

Your Sex Position Playbook | Men’s Health

The subject story discusses 45 different positions for making it and I think it should be a serious consideration for anyone tired of the same old lame new years resolutions, to make their new years resolution to master all 45 of these positions.

Nope, not giving up smoking, drinking, or even sex with multiple partners. I am going to master these 45 sexual positions for my new years resolutions. Who am I kidding. I amcouple too old for half of these. If my back doesn’t go out, my front will probably quit. Actually, I may have already met these qualifications. Nope, there are about five I have yet to  master. But, I also know of a couple other positions they do not show here. They do not have any shown here that involve a flying trapeze or planes. Just kidding folks, I am strictly vanilla sex . . .

Isn’t sex great? I mean it is a wonderful sharing between people. And, so many variations. All expandable dependent on how many participants and plumbing configuration. Media such as movies have certainly shown an acceptance for all sorts of sexual conduct. World-wide the exploitation and extortion of sex has reached the limits of it’s boundaries and it seems little is being done to curtail abuses. Medical Professionals have found most diseases treatable, but it is still possible to transmit deadly disease by sexual act. There is a lot of change in sex, except the most important issue. Women still get impregnated even when contraceptives are used.

Probably the most important toy to a young man is his penis. It not only is his sex organ, but also his pride. To a few young men their penis is also their fame locally and many a young man enjoys multiple to many young women by the time they become an adult. The worst thing that can happen to these young men is to impregnate someone. Even if they believe themselves in love with that person, the pregnancy will destroy so many opportunities for them. Most marriages last about a long weekend, few make it through the summer, and maybe 10% last a lifetime. So why make babies until you are sure that you want, can support, and are emotionally capable of raising them?

thumb_surgeon_ready_to_dive_inWere I king of this planet, I would require all  young men to have a vasectomy. That way they could fuck like rabbits day and night without fear of knocking up the neighbor girl, or her mother. If later on in life the young man decided he was ready to have children, so be it, vasectomies are reversible. Just think parents, no more worry about Junior bringing that skank you hate home to stay. And, wouldn’t a vasectomy make a great Birthday Present for your sixteen year old Romeo? Parents could quit worrying so much about their little slut daughters if young men had vasectomies. I apologize, I REALLY DID NOT MEAN THAT THE WAY IT SOUNDED. I am a strong supporter of women’s rights to do as they see fit with their bodies. I am just confused as to what age it is acceptable to be that promiscuous. Somehow, 12 to 16 years old does not seem right to me. Hey, not my idea, I get it from the news the same as you do.

Regardless, wouldn’t vasectomies be the ideal method to protect your son’s future? Even if it was just your own son, not the whole population, would a vasectomy provide him the protection from an unwanted pregnancy making ruin of his education, his career goals, and his future as a person? You can buy him condoms, creams, and an assortment of magical potions to prevent pregnancy, but are you going to be there to ensure he uses them? You can buy her the same with the addition of pills, patches, and injections. But, who will be there to ensure these methods used? Do you remember your hormones raging, and that animalistic desire to have sex as a youngster? There were times that it didn’t matter where, when, or how we did it . . . so long as we did it. Not ready to try the vasectomy?

Let me tell you about the new device, “GonnaCutYourPeckerOff” soon to be on store shelves in your neighborhood. Yes sir, designed to ensure your son does not impregnate anyone. “GonnaCutYourPeckerOff” is the new exciting way to protect your son’s future and it only costs $19.95, plus shipping and handling if ordered via the Internet. “GonnaCutYourPeckerOff” is not approved by the FDA and does have certain side effects when used by certain people. If you experience light headedness, serious bleeding, severe pain, . . .

(Disclaimer: I apologize to anyone offended by this article. I did not intend to be offensive. My sole intent was to make people think about teenage sex and the future of their sons. I do not really believe we are going to rush to the doctor with our kids asking to get the kids nuts clipped. But, maybe a parent might discuss how to prevent teenage pregnancy with their kid.)

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