I know it is a stupid question, until you realize some people actually do enjoy hurting others. In my 58 years I have probably seen most of the harm people do to each other, but it still troubles me whenever I see it again. Is it really necessary to cause someone abuse. No, I am not talking physical abuse. I am not even worried about the physical damage we cause one another. I refer to the harm caused by saying something hurtful to somebody else. Some people are more vicious with the comments they make than with with the cut of a knife.
I remember my ex-wife being so poisonous with the things she would say, that I would ache inside just because of the words she spoke, wondering what I could have done to earn such venom from her lips. It didn’t matter what she had become to me, I still loved her and the things she said were meant for only one purpose. She intended to cause me as much mental anguish as she possibly could. And, she did. I try to remember back to a time that she never appeared that hateful to me, but my mind stops me from going past the pain of her words as she said the meanest and most harmful thing she could have ever said to me. And even today, years later, I still feel the pain caused by her words.
A long time has past since then, but now I recognize how some people are almost venomous in the things they say to one-another. Why, is it necessary to be that harsh and hateful to somebody else? I mean for someone to be that harmful to another person, that person must have done something of such a magnitude that killing them violently might be appropriate, but in reality it rarely is over something anything so severe. Some people just are so mean that they know what to say to cause you the most harm and do not care about the harm they cause. Are you a person like this?
When you argue with someone, do you argue the issue? Or, do you attack the other person with a personal attack separate from the issue. Rather than admit to your wrongs in the issue, you pick the most painful thing to say to harm the other person on a more personal level adding to the wrong you originally committed, and subsequent to such attack your words used do not create any sorrow for having used them? Lots of people do it, but they fail to realize that such harmful words cut more deeply than a knife, and seldom will the use of such words ever be forgotten of forgiven.
Let me tell you folks, I have heard some pretty mean stuff when people argue. But, it only takes a moment of listening to ascertain the person in the wrong in such argument. The person in the wrong is the one that makes a hateful attack on the other person completely off topic for the argument. No, I will not give you examples. I will suggest that next time you choose to have an argument and you say something with nothing but malicious intent just to cause the other person anguish because you were on the wrong side of the argument to begin with, that you step back a moment. Think of what you just said. Think of the pain you just dispensed. Is the other person your lover, your friend, or a family member? DO you really feel so poorly of them that you want to cause an issue that will never be forgotten or forgiven?
You may believe after the argument has ended that you are forgiven for your hateful attack, but the other person will likely never forget the things that you said. Even your own child will always remember the pain you caused them all the way through their adulthood. You will never be trusted again, not even by the person you share your bed with that laughs and shares your life. People just do not forget when they are harmed this way.
Wouldn’t it be better to admit to being an “Asshole” than to prove yourself one by hurting another out of spite or pleasure dependent on the type of person you are?
(I know I left a whole bunch of room for the reader to question exactly the situation I describe. You will know exactly what type of situation I refer to when you look in the eyes of the other person and see the anguish they feel by the distress that shows upon their face. If you cannot see it, or you do not care, you are likely one of the assholes I refer to.)